About Red Dwarf
A to Z of Red Dwarf
Quotes and Lyrics
"Here is a description of all the main
characters in Red Dwarf. If you would like to see a profile of any other character on
here in the future, please email
Lister was discovered in a cardboard box beneath a pool table in the
Aigbeth Arms public house in Liverpool at six weeks of age.He was then adopted by a
Mr and Mrs Wilmot, but his stepfather died when Lister was six.By the age of 11,
Lister was living with his grandmother.
Lister's early friendships, most
notably with Duncan, whose family fled to Spain after their father robbed a bank
seem to have encouraged the criminal side of his personality. Most people steal
towels from hotels, Lister steals a bed.
Education was limited to 97 minutes
in art college. Previous work experience includes playing gigs with 'Smeg and the
Heads', and parking trolleys at Megamart.
Joining the Space Corps, Lister ended up on the ship, Red Dwarf. He smuggled his
pet Cat onto the ship but was caught, his punishment was six months in suspended
A radiation leak killed the crew shortly after. Lister was revived after the radiation
had faded, approximately three million years later.Lister was joined by Rimmer,
Holly, Cat, Kryten, Kochanski.
A lot of things have happened to Lister, including the worst case of space mumps
ever, and the rather bizarre fact that he is his own father!
Lister was partially responsible for a nanobotic rebuilding of the Red Dwarf ship and
is currently serving two years in the ship's brig for misuse of confidential files. He is
sharing a bunk with the resurrected Rimmer.
Lister broke quarantine and smuggled a pet black cat named
Frankenstein aboard Red Dwarf.The heavily pregnant cat, safely sealed in the ship's
cargo hold surrived the radiation leak, gave birth to litter after litter atfer litter, which
after three million years, evolved into a humanoid life-form named Felis sapiens.
The cats' religion was based around a god named 'Cloister' who saved
Frankenstein the holy mother (Lister) was frozen in time, allowing the cat's virgin
birth to continue unhindered. Their image of heaven, Fuchal, features Lister's Fijian
dream to set up a hot-dog and donut diner.
A holy war followed between cats
who believed the donut diner hats should be red and those who thought they were
supposed to be blue.They were actually supposed to be green. As the war subsided,
the two factions fled Red Dwarf in two arks in search of Fuchal. Sadly their guiding
star-chart was in actuality Lister's old dirty laundry list, and the first ark flew straight
into an asteroid.
Left behind on Red Dwarf were the sick, the lame and the dying. Cat was cared for by
a blind cat priest after his parents, a cripple and an idiot passed away. Cat was later
adopted by Lister as a replacement for Frankenstein. The Cat was predominantly
self-educated,and has managed to avoid any work almost entirely.
The Cat owns an extensive wardrobe and harbours a severe desire to get close to real,
actual women. On several occasions the Cat has been transformed into his alter-ego,
Duane Dibbley, a pointless loser whose overbite could open beer bottles.
Cat or The Cat remains otherwise unnamed.But Cat does say that his middle name is
'Superficial'! Some of his features include pointed teeth, colour-co-ordinated
internal-organs and six nipples.
Rimmer is a smeghead (thats what Lister thinks!), a wuss and
probably has more teeth than brain cells,so he's brighter that Lister!He aches for
responsibility but constantly fails the engineering exam.
Rimmer is the
youngest of four brothers the others are called John, Howard and Frank, all of whom
are high-flyers in the Space Corps. His father was a half-crazed military failure, who
made up for his own inadequacy (He was one inch below Corps regulation height) by
stretching his sons on a rack!
His mother seemed to have spent a great deal of
time with more successful officers in positions that would baffle most
balloon-modellers.Rimmer divorced his parents at the age of 14, only retaining access
to the family dog every fourth weekend.
Graduating from Io House, a
boarding school which enforced his wearing of boxing gloves while in bed, Rimmer
enlisted in the Samaritans. In one morning, six people committed suicide, including a
wrong number who only called for the cricket scores. With a maintenance course
from Saturn Tech under his belt, Rimmer elected to enrol in the Space Corps and
tryed to work his way up the ranks.Rimmer entered the Corps at the level of third
technician, and managed to climb the ladder all the way to second technician. He has
taken and failed the astro-navigation and engineering exams 13 times, the most
fascinating of which resulted in him writing 'I am a fish' 400 times on his paper.
Despite this failing, Rimmer continued to lie to his mother. While his father suffered
a series of strokes, he told her that he had reached the position of 'Rear Admiral
Lieutenant General.' In reality he was still making sure the vending machines didn't
run out of fun-size crunchy bars.
It was Rimmer's failure to repair a drive plate correctly which caused the radiation
leak that killed the ship's crew. He died also, but was revived as a hologram to keep
surviving crew member Dave Lister sane.
Rimmer's personality was replicated exactly. His fascination with 20th century
telegraph poles, his love of Hammond organ music and morris dancing. Ironically,
Rimmer's life has improved immeasurably since he died. He had sex for a second
time and was posthumously promoted to officerhood.
Rimmer was last seen heading off into space, replacing his heroic counterpart 'Ace'
after Ace was mortally wounded. His inability to tell the ignition from the ejector seat
may hamper his chances as a hero for infinite dimensions.
Following the nanobotic revival of the Red Dwarf crew, a new, living Rimmer has
emerged. Lacking the five years of growth the previous version had experienced, he
promptly attempted to cheat his way up command and condemned himself and his
companions to two years in the ship's brig.
Originally a service mechanoid aboard the Nova V, Kryten
inadvertently killed the entire crew and crashed the ship when he decided to give the
main and back-up computers a good soapy clean. The three other survivors of the
crash - mapping officers Jane Air, Tracey Johns and Anne Gill - perished soon
afterwards, but Kryten did not appear to notice and kept feeding and dressing them
regardless (Is he sane?).
His first arrival aboard Red Dwarf was short lived
his willingness to serve was abused by Rimmer that Kryten rebelled, took Lister's
space bike and fled into space. Soon afterwards he was found to have crashed into an
asteroid. Lister toiled to fix the droid, but was unable to fully restore his original
Despite being voted 'the big-eared, ugly one' by his other spare
heads all of which would later be destroyed by a nega-drive blow-back, Kryten
attracted the attentions of Camille, a pleasure mechanoid whose love Kryten would
sadly lose to her husband, Hector.
Maintaining a staunch belief in Silicon Heaven, Kryten continues to take lessons from
Dave Lister in lying and rude insults. He has also mastered pomposity if he does say
so himself - although when ambivalent he does have the look of a dog chewing a
caramel toffee. He has also and quite by accident begun to exhibit a possessive
jealousy towards Kochanski over Lister.
All these character flaws of which Kryten had become rightly proud, were nearly lost
when his corrupted files were repaired by Red Dwarf scientists and the Data Doctor
program. However his ability to display ambivalence came through, re-corrupting his
circuitry and returning him to the messed-up mechanoid he once was.
His wish is to be human. Kryten was lucky enough to get his wish when his
part-organic brain allowed his DNA to be transformed. Discoveries of non-functional
nipples, mediocre visual functions and disturbing underpant activity, however, forced
the mechanoid to change back.
Kryten's more unfortunate features his obsessive mothering and a head shaped like a
novelty condom came from his designer Professor Mamet.
Kryten is currently serving time in the brig on floor 13. He is in the women's wing,
sharing a cell with Kochanski,the decision having been taken that his lack of male
genitalia automatically categorise him as female.
In a parallel dimension, Lister was caught smuggling his cat aboard
Red Dwarf by Navigation Officer Kristine Kochanski. But being the sentimental type
(or just a woman), she couldn't bring herself to vaporise the cat as per regulations, and
so found herself facing six months in stasis.
Three-million years later,
Kochanski's only companions were a life-form who evolved from her cat, and David
Lister, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew. Under Kochanski's tutelage,
the Cat became an intelligent and capable life-form, while Lister becameas sensitive
Unfortunately for her, Kochanski met this dimension's
Starbug crew via a linkway through a dimensional tear. Lister's GELF bride infiltrated
non-space and attacked the linkway, leaving Kochanski stranded. Further attempts to
return her have failed.
During this period, Lister and Kochanski also began the process of having a child.
Begun in an in-vitro tube and grown in a uterine simulator, the child who was actually
the infant Lister was taken back in time and abandoned in order to fulfil causality.
Kochanski grew up in the Gorbals, the trendiest part of Glasgow, alongside her
brother Moose and her pony, Trumper. She was educated in Cyberschool, but
afterwards having discovered that the world didn't actually revolve around her, she
went off the rails and became a cyberpunk.
This rebellion was curtailed when Kochanski went to Cadet School. She enlisted in
the Space Corps and was signed on to Red Dwarf.
Aside from her love of cottage cheese with pineapple chunks and her hatred of
showers, it is Kochanski's love of her teddy bear, Boo-Boo, and the fact that when
making love she makes a noise like a rusty gate that really leaves her open to taunting
by Kryten. Kryten is very very very very very jealous of her.
Holly is Red Dwarf's on-board computer, and the inventor of the new
decimal sound 'Hol Rock'. Despite an original Operational IQ of 6000 (the same IQ as
6000 P.E. teachers!), Holly had always been quirky during the astro-navigation exam
Holly instigated urine testing in case any urine attempted to cheat,but he is now a
fully-fledged sufferer from computer senility.
During the three-million
years he spent alone in space, Holly read every book ever written by anyone ever, the
worst of which was Kevin Keegan's Football - It's a Funny Old Game. He also
managed to create a comprehensive and definitive map of the universe, complete with
post offices and little steeples.
Holly's first love was a Sinclair ZX81, but
she was cheap, stupid and she wouldn't load, not for him, anyway. He later fell for
Hilly, his female self from a parallel universe whom he encountered when he
invented the Holly Hop Drive. Indeed, he fell so badly that he chose to take on her
face in a head sex-change operation. This would remain until the nanobots restored
his core program.
The female Holly did have her intelligence restored via intelligence compression, but
this reduced her operation life-span to less than four minutes. Thankfully this entire
event was erased from history when Lister blocked up a time spewing white hole.
Holly is also able to appear on a wrist-watch, although he has become wary of people
who scratch their armpits or who have holes in their pockets.
Currently Holly is hidden inside Red Dwarf's computer banks in an attempt to avoid
detection by his nanobotically revived, hyperintelligent counterpart. Nevertheless, he
continues to help Lister, Rimmer and the rest as best he can while they are in prison.
He believes Lister could shorten his term by becoming a dog, thus making each year
of his sentence seven times shorter.